i mean. i’m just sayin….

Money. Having it, or simply having the lack of is a subject that no one likes to talk about. If I had an elephant that constantly followed me into every room, it would be an elephant that wore a skin with a repeated pattern of the one dollar bill. He’d be chilling while I’m in my apartment. He’d be there looking over my shoulder when I’m checking the mail for bills and snicker when I decline any 1-866 numbers that I make roll straight to voicemail. He’d be in my basket when I’m getting groceries from the store. He’d even start break-dancing on the table when I get my split of the check during a dinner out or a happy-hour with friends.  I’m pretty sure he did the Dougie yesterday while I called and put my school loan on forbearance.

Passion. Oh you know. Do what you love and never work a day in your life? I mean, I hear you, but what if you just like lots o’ stuff and carry a torch for nothing? When I visit my tax lady every year she is absolutely EXCITED about doing my taxes, crunching numbers, yada yada. She loves accounting!! My fellow ex-flight attendant friend Amy Jo runs a beautiful photography blog that she updates on the regular because she has such a passion for taking pictures every. single. day. I’m super jealous of these monogamous types. My interests vary so far and so wide and if I’m being truly honest with myself, I have no idea what I could find fulfillment in doing everyday while making a comfortable living in the process. I love me some travel, but I’m so not cut out to be a “career” flight attendant. I sat next to a young lady, exactly half my age, on a flight back to Houston the other night while I was deadheading from Denver after a 5-day trip. She asked me so many questions of interest about my job and then shared something about her personal experience on a flight coming back from Italy.  I kept a straight face, but my heart got a bit sad. I haven’t even been farther than Canada yet. I constantly hear the it-gets-better stories about the pay + seniority with this job, but I think I can only thank people for their trash for so long.

Love + relationships. Ahhh matters of the heart. Some people kick rocks. Other people kick hearts.

Lol, okay. So it’s not that serious, but let’s just say my most recent relations situation wasn’t so hot. I never talk about this and frankly I used to not worry about it. But when you’ve attended nearly 10 weddings over your brief lifespan, you’re about to top off your third decade of existence, and a Facebook pal of yours (already in an awesome relationship herself of course) posts a pic about even Honey Boo Boo’s mom has a boyfriend…..ONE STARTS TO PANIC. Which is probably why I went solo to San Francisco this past February for their annual Valentine’s Day Pillow Fight because I figured if you can’t join them, BEAT them.

Footage of opening carnage.

Mind you I only lasted about a solid 12 minutes and then I politely excused myself (meaning I fought my way out). There were some fools with those well soiled I’ve-had-this-on-my-bed-for-years type of pillows that sank like bricks in the cases so they were inevitably straight up Homie the Clowning folks. My new fluffy pillow couldn’t compete. Plus there were these obvious veterans out there that had bandanas over their mouths WHICH WAS BRILLIANT because when someone dropped a bomb of feathers, that ish would get into your eyes + all down into your throat. I don’t know how many times I heard people yell “I can’t breathe” after that. But the BEST was when this guy in a very I Am Sparta voice yelled out “Fight. For. Your. FREEDOMMMMM!!!!!!” Lol. This is the video I took at beginning of the fight when the bell tolled. I hung back a sec to make sure it wasn’t too much carnage going on because ultimately I’m not losing an eye over a pillow fight. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Such. good. times.

So. Sometimes you just have to keep it real. And I feel I write my best when I do. These truly are issues that do give me great stress sometimes, but they also serve as great reminders that it ain’t all bad, I’ll totally (hopefully) figure it all out someday, and it’s really kind of funny when you think about it. *wink*

You may also like


  1. Raven! You’re back! I love the realness of your article! Everyone has their issues, kind of like if it’s not one thing its another. You provide a different kind of perspective on these things! I’ll be checking with you on your projects soon. 🙂

    1. Thanks Jeana!! And just know that this comment alone was my motivation to press on and finish that pillow, because I knew you would be checking back on my progress!! Haha.

  2. The pillow fight looks awesome! I never woulda thought about feathers flying in your mouth either :/

    Hey, man. I don’t think it’s about finding THE ONE thing that makes you happy THE MOST as a career; it’s about finding SOMEthing that makes you happy. Some people, like my dad, are ALL one thing. He is all about cars, and he finds fulfillment in that ONE thing. He loves working on them, talking about them, and doesn’t mind working 10-hour days sometimes. And that’s cool for people like him.

    Other people, like me and you, have lots of interests. It was so hard for me to find a major in college. I literally could have majored in ANYTHING, and I would have been happy. When I graduated from college, I agonized about what kind of graduate program I wanted to go into. Looking back, I think I would have done well in any of them. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had taken another path, but everything happens for a reason.

    I think as long as what you’re doing makes you happy, it doesn’t have to make you whole. I don’t think finding a job that you like is the same thing as finding your soulmate, you know? If your job makes you happy, I think you’re way ahead of the game (most people are miserable at their jobs!). Keep doing the other things on the side that you find enjoyment out of–hobbies, going out, working out, traveling, whatever–and you’ll feel like a whole person. EMBRACE your many interests! A job doesn’t make or define who you are.

    1. Thanks for that Valerie. You are too right + I’m working on just focusing on doing all the things that make me happy….not necessarily pouring that into my work life. Work just is what it is right for the moment. For now, I’m just going to keep work separate + just enjoy my interests. Since this post I started growing plants on my balcony, and going full speed ahead with some of the projects on my sewing table. No plants have died + I’ve already finished a project finally — so far so good!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *